


monster outside your door

by eyefornana



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bottom Na Jaemin, Child Abandonment, Family Issues, First Time, Getting Together, Harassment, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Murder, Serial Killers, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Top Lee Jeno, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 01:41:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30098385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyefornana/pseuds/eyefornana
Summary: Jaemin was taught not to open doors to strangers. But when a Jeno Lee tried to approach him, he never thought that a monster could be so enchanting.But still, it takes one to know one.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	monster outside your door

Jisung whined for the umpteenth time and Jaemin decided he wouldn't care until their mother entered the room with her brows knitted together. Jaemin knew he would be in trouble but it was too late to persuade Jisung.

"What is it now?" Lately, the fight between the two sons of the Na family only revolves around Jisung whose whining and Jaemin whose life has begun to be filled with hectic socialization activities.

"Jaemin-hyung prefers to leave me."

Jaemin groaned. “I just have to see Hyuck in a minute, Sung. Please?"

"Noooo! I wanna come."

Mrs. Na sighed. “Ji, you're big boy too now. You can't just cling to your brother all the time. Let Jaemin go. Hyuck will go to Canada next week." This time Mrs. Na decided to sympathize with her eldest son. But of course Jisung wouldn't let his brother win. He was lying on his stomach on the bed, his feet pressed against the blanket roughly and started whining against Jaemin's pillow.

Jaemin grimaced at the thought of his pillow filled with saliva and tears. Besides, he knew he wouldn't have the heart to refuse Jisung.

“Stop it, Ji. Lets watch a movie, okay?" he sat beside his younger brother, tugged Jisung's shoulder, but Jisung didn't budge. Instead, Jisung lifted his flushed face from the pillow.

"Then you'll go without me?"

"No. I won't go. There. Happy now?"

Jisung folded his lips, clearly about to hide the big grin on his face. He sat while still hugging the pillow. "But I get to pick the movie."

"Sure."

As if he could not stop acting like a child, Jisung screamed with joy and ran outside, past his mother who was shaking her head.

"Thank you, Jae," Mrs. Na hugged Jaemin briefly and kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry you can't meet Hyuck today."

“Its okay, Mum. He still have Mark." Jaemin smiled reassuringly.

"And you?"

"Well, I have Jisung." Jaemin grimaced.

Mrs. Na laughed.

-

Donghyuck's plan, which had involved an arcade and PC bang with his friends and boyfriend, was canceled. He sent a message to Jaemin that he and Mark were waiting in line in front of the cinema. They decide to watch a romantic cheesy film for the first time.

Jaemin chuckled, knowing very well that Donghyuck would spend time commenting on every scene while Mark would just smile stupidly at him. He apologized for not being able to fulfill Donghyuck's invitation and Donghyuck jokingly said it was better than having to spend time with Jisung in his last days before leaving for Canada to visit Mark's family. With Jaemin around, Jisung will become a spoiled brat and make Donghyuck's blood boil. After all, Donghyuck will be home next month.

Meanwhile Jisung sat at Jaemin's feet, calmly chewing his popcorn while watching the Avengers take turns trying to lift the _mjolnir_.

When he just about to put down the cellphone because Donghyuck was already in the studio, a message from an unknown number came in.

_Hi, is this Jaemin?_

_Jaemin Na?_

Jaemin remembers Donghyuck always reminding him not to reply to messages from unknown numbers, but the number looked pretty convincing. As if knowing Jaemin's doubt, another message came in.

_I’m Jeno Lee._

_Your friend gave me your number_

_Lee Donghyuck_ , Jaemin sighed. He had repeatedly reminded Donghyuck not to give his number to just anyone. Jaemin doesn't remember a single Jeno Lee, no matter how hard he thinks. Alright, for the last time, Jaemin promised that this was the last time he was lenient and replied to messages from people Donghyuck wanted to match with him.

_Hello. Yes, I’m Jaemin._

_May I know how do you know me?_

_Or my friend Hyuck?_

_I saw you at the basketball match last week_

_I’m sorry if I annoy you_

_I just_

_Want to know you_

_But its okay if you don’t want to let me know you_

Jaemin pushed aside his suspicions. Jeno Lee looks sincere. A little awkward, but cute. He has a courtesy that Jaemin thinks doesn't seem artificial. Jaemin smiled a little, of course Donghyuck knows his ideal type.

_Its okay_

_We can let to know each other_

_If you don’t mind too_

_I assume we’re the same age?_

_Thank you_

_Please just talk to me if I annoy you_

_And yeah. I saw you and I guess we are_

_You are pretty intense_

_Huh? Why did you say that?_

_I’m not intense at all!!_

_Maybe I’m a little awkward but that’s just because_

_we just know each other_

_I’m a pretty chill person!_

_Idk, you left a sharp impression_

_Is it? ;p_

_Can’t wait to actually know you better, Jaemin Na_

_Uh-huh, I guess you’re cute_

_Nooo! I’m not cute_

_And you_

_How about you?_

_Me?_

_What about me?_

_What kind of person are you, Jeno Lee?_

_I wanna know :3_

_Very regular person._

_You won’t even notice if you meet me_

_Just it?_

_I think you’re cute tho_

_How so?_

_Because I know so :p_

"Is it Donghyuck?" Jisung's voice broke Jaemin's concentration. Jaemin suddenly remembered that he was still watching movies with Jisung. "Is he mad?"

“No, Sung. Its my… friend. You don't know him." Jaemin smiled faintly. “Hyuck is not mad. He's on a date with Mark, actually."

“Why would they do that? They will be together for a whole month!"

Jaemin giggled and pinched his brother's cheek. "Well, its actually just a regular hang out between us but since I couldn't join them, its turned into a date instead."

"I'm not sorry, though." Jisung stroked his cheek which was slightly flushed. "You're just gonna ended up third-wheeling if you go alone."

"That's better rather than seeing you and Hyuck bickering."

"He pissed me off by treating me like a child," complained Jisung. Jaemin looked at him affectionately. Jisung seemed not the child who an hour ago whined in Jaemin's room.

"You just being weird because Chenle can't come today." Finally Jaemin took out his last weapon.

Sure enough, Jisung's face turned red and he shook his head with a panicked expression. “N-no! Why would I being weird?"

"You totally are." Jaemin hummed, returning to his cell phone.

_But you don’t know me, Jaemin_

_Jaemin?_

_Hello?_

Jaemin typed a reply while nodding pretending to hear Jisung's chatter about him which wasn't upset at all because his best friend couldn't visit that day.

_Hi! I’m sorry I just talk with my brother_

_I want to know you too, Jeno_

_I said that : >_

_Oh, okay_

_Hm if that’s the case_

[image attached]

_Maybe we can start by adding my picture on my profile contact?_

_And idk, see my face?_

As soon as Jeno's photo was plastered on his cellphone screen, Jaemin shrieked and covered his mouth, making Jisung flinch and look at his brother's cellphone screen.

"What is–who is this, hyung?" Jisung asked when he looked at a blonde man with an undercut who smiled at the camera. The man looks pale, with an eye-smile and a dark spot under his right eye. He wore a white striped shirt and navy blue which looked casual.

“Jeno Lee,” Jaemin answered with a bated breath, unprepared with Jeno's welcoming face. _Heck, he is so handsome._ Jaemin wanted to kiss Donghyuck right away. He quickly saved Jeno's photo.

_Good! Now I know your face_

_I don’t think you are a ‘very regular person’, Jeno_

_I won’t forget about you when I see you :’3_

"You're flirting right now?" Jisung looked at Jaemin in disbelief. "I don't know any Jeno Lee, though."

“Shut up. That's what I said," replied Jaemin.

_Liar :P_

_We met and you didn’t even spare me a glance_

_That’s because I didn’t see you that time!_

_You should just came to me and say hi_

_You sounds very enthusiastic right now, Jaemin :p_

_Why is that?_

_Is it because the pic that I sent? ;)_

_Ouch, I’m hurt :o_

_Do I suppose to be enthusiastic to good looking people only? :’(_

_I didn’t know your face before but I believe I’m being nice the whole time_

_But yeah you can ignore that ig_

"Tsk," Jisung chuckled as he read his brother's message. "If he's really thinking like that about you, guess he doesn't know you at all."

"I know right?" muttered Jaemin, frowning slightly. He cupped his phone, trying to focus on the television screen to divert his attention.

Jisung looked at his brother sympathetically. He let Jaemin lean his head on his shoulder and hug his popcorn box again.

Jaemin only lasted thirty minutes before finally looking at his cellphone screen.

_You’re saying I’m good looking then? :D_

_I’m just kidding, Jaemin_

_You are very popular so I can’t bare to be close to you_

_But you are right. You are nice to me from the first_

_I’m sorry_

_I’m flattered actually_

_Really_

_Thank you_

_Jaemin?_

_What are you doing?_

_Are you still talking with your brother?_

_Do you… perhaps wanna talk to me?_

_Later, I mean_

_I’ll call you_

_If you want._

_I’m sorry if I’m awkward_

_I hope I don’t disturb you_

Without realizing it, a smile appeared on Jaemin's face. He knows he's being petty. But he can't help it. Without looking at Jeno's photo, he feels that Jeno is a polite man and even though Jeno's photo adds to his attractiveness many times, Jaemin won't sort people out to be nice.

_Sorry I’m being petty_

_You wanna call me??_

_Uhm… okay, I guess_

_You can accompany me finishing my chores_

So that night, Jaemin chatted for the first time with Jeno while arranging clothes in the toilet.

-

They regularly text and call for the past week.

Jaemin finds Jeno to be a conversational person, making them almost never run out of conversation. He could say anything to Jeno and even though a week ago he would have shuddered at the thought of sharing so much information with strangers, talking to Jeno was so much fun because they didn't know him before.

Jaemin retells his world, making everything feel strange and new. Jeno listened well, replied by telling about himself in his low voice which made Jaemin always lose his voice. Sometimes he asked Jeno to tell him something long just so he could listen to Jeno longer.

Communicating with Jeno practically made Jaemin forget that Donghyuck and Mark were on the other side of the world and that Jisung would rather spend his free time playing with Chenle. Jaemin was at home most of the day, but he didn't complain. He gardened, did laundry, cleaned his room and Jisung's room, and so on while accompanied by Jeno. His father and mother spend more time working in various cities but with Jeno, Jaemin doesn't feel lonely.

“Jaemin,” called Jeno once.

"Hm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Laying in my bed."

“Hm…” Jeno cleared his throat. "Do you wanna meet me, Jaemin?"

"Hm?" Jaemin's eyes opened wide and he sat up straight. The drowsiness that started to attack suddenly disappeared. "M-meet you?"

"Yes. We've been talking for more than a week and telling each other everything. Don't you think we should meet? Or no?"

"Of course I want to meet you!" Jaemin replied, a little too fast, but he couldn't hide his excitement.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I feel comfortable talking to you, Jeno-ya. I wonder how it feels like to talk in front of you."

Jeno laughed softly, amused and flattered. "What do you wanna do then when we meet?"

Jaemin felt his face turn red, but he tried to focus on Jeno's voice and forced his brain to think fast. “Uhm… carnival? Its summer and the carnival must be wonderful. I want to have an ice cream too. Can we do that? Or you have anything else in your mind?"

"No. I just want to see you and be with you for a long time." Jeno's voice sounded low.

Jaemin felt his breath catch, but he forced himself to respond. "Then we will go out for a whole day."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Promise?" This time no smile came from Jeno's voice. They spent hours on the phone and Jaemin began to notice the difference in Jeno's voice. But he got rid of it.

"Promise."

-

Jeno raised the corners of his lips when Jaemin finally turned off the phone.

 _Ah, the time has come_ , he got up from his chair and walked to the board beside his study table. There is Jaemin's personal data attached, complete with a photo and signature that Jeno managed to get from sneaking into the teacher's room at Jaemin's school.

**Na Jaemin**

**13 th August 2000**

Very popular, beautiful, pretty face with doe-eyes, bright personality, his friends said that he's a very nice and polite person, likes a cute guy with manner, have a brother and their parents are often going outside the town, likes to cook, loves his brother, a decent student.

 _Typical_ , Jeno thought, although he admits that he doesn't meet men like Na Jaemin every day. From the information that Jeno got, Jaemin is the perfect person. He is popular and kind. Jeno admits that other aspects of Jaemin are a plus and making him look really cute, it won't make Jeno stop his mind. On the contrary, Jeno was even more moved to prove to what extent Na Jaemin is equal to perfection.

People in general, not only Jaemin, have weaknesses with beautiful people and that's what Jeno takes advantage of. After finding out the exact taste of Jaemin, he slightly changed his appearance and expression then revealed it in the photo. No one will be able to resist it. Those people who always appeared to be perfect themselves had tremendous damage inside of them and Jeno was always interested in finding out more.

Jeno knew for sure they had incomparable ugliness within them because he was one of them. He was in a phase where he was in a new environment and refused to talk to other people. People called him arrogant because he looked perfect to them. People said that lightly as if they hated perfection. Even though that perfection is what they are always looking for. Jeno has been trying to destroy that perfection for a long time. He kills perfection and ensures that nothing is perfect as long as humans are alive.

For a moment, Jeno took a deep breath, enjoying the rush of enthusiasm that always made his chest flutter and excited. His nose was swollen knowing he was only a step towards the only thing that brought him back to life. For a moment, the silence of the house no longer bothered him. He always refused to be disturbed by the silence, convincing himself that it was the choice he had made because no one could understand it as much as he could understand himself.

In fact, Jeno loved the feeling of belonging which gave him control over life. Life isn't perfect, so Jeno insists on keeping it that way.

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

He laughed. Dry. Deep.

-

When Jeno appeared at the door of Jaemin's house, he imagined Jaemin would gasp and refuse to leave the house. He will use anything as an excuse to cancel their promise that day, from Jisung, his parents, to his best friend Donghyuck. Jeno will see what kind of rotten people Jaemin are.

That's what Jeno had in mind.

So he wasn't ready when Jaemin looked at him and smiled and took his hand. “Thank you for picking me up. Wait a minute. I just need to lock the door since Jisung are in his bestfriend house–you know the one that I kept telling you about? Chenle? They're in love with each other!–And my parents are taking a nap. They just came back this morning and looked very tired." Jaemin swiftly put his shoes on, grabbed the keys, and closed the door.

"Jeno?" Jaemin shook Jeno's hand that was in his because Jeno was still silent.

"You still wanna go?"

Jaemin looks taken aback. "O-oh you don't? Did I make you upset? O-or… disappointed? I'm sorry if you waited too long I spent too many times thinking about what should I wear. Uhm... Am I the wrong person?"

For a moment, Jeno didn't know if Jaemin meant it. He appeared in front of Jaemin wearing his worn T-shirt, his slightly musty jacket, his pants that hadn't been washed in months, and his shoes with a little holes in them. The blonde color in her hair was slowly being replaced by black. Dark circles must have appeared under his eyes considering the past few days he had been unable to sleep because of his excitement. In short, Jeno is sure he looks ugly than Jaemin who looks radiant with his pink hair and light brown sweater. But here Jaemin suddenly seemed to have doubts about his own appearance.

“No, Jaemin. I just make sure if you're still up with our plan? You know, to have fun the whole day." Jeno emphasized his last sentence.

Unexpectedly, Jaemin's expression brightened. He nodded excitedly. "Yeah! I already have a list of place that I want to visit with you. Is it okay?"

Jeno was silent for a moment before answering. "Okay."

So hand in hand, they stepped out of the Na family residence. Questions popped into Jeno's head. He didn't understand how he could walk with Jaemin, sticking to their plans the past few days. Jaemin didn't hesitate to link their hands and talk about how he looks forward to seeing them that day without the slightest hesitation.

“Jeno,” called Jaemin while Jeno was still silent for a while.

"Hm?"

"Nothing," Jaemin answered shyly. “I thought we're already warmed up… you know? You sounded so enthusiast on the phone."

"And? You are disappointed now?” Jeno couldn't hide the hope in his voice. _Give me something, Na Jaemin._

Jaemin quickly shook his head. "No. I just thinking maybe you don't like me."

"Why?" Jeno stopped his steps, looked at Jaemin fixedly with an incomprehensible look. Jaemin stared back at him with eyes glowing timidly. "Why is that matter?"

 _Because I like you._ But Jaemin didn't need to say it. He blinked at Jeno, not understanding what kind of mistake he had done until Jeno, who usually sounded cheerful, now seemed to be shutting down and as if he didn't expect him.

"I really disappointing you, am I?" muttered Jaemin, slowly removing his hand from Jeno's, trying in vain to straighten his neat shirt. "Maybe you really think I'm the wrong person." _Ugh, this is embarrassing_ , Jaemin biting his lip.

"No. You are the exact Na Jaemin that I remember."

Then why? You don't like me anymore?"

"You want me to like you?"

“Isn't that obvious…” Jaemin muttered softly, this time staring at the tip of his shoe.

“Jaemin, my question is… do you still want me? After you see me?" Jeno no longer covers up his intentions. “Or you just being nice? Be honest with me. I'm not like what you expected to be, right?"

Jaemin raised his face, looked at Jeno incomprehensible with drooping brows. "What is wrong with you...?" He looked Jeno from toe to head to look back at Jeno face with a confused look. "Wait, what did you think I expect you to be?"

Jeno was frustrated. This is the first time he has met someone like Jaemin. Of the many people he met, Jaemin was different. It caused a strange feeling in Jeno's stomach.

“Just… come on. Lets go to the carnival like you want…” Jeno stretched out his hand. Jaemin quickly grabbed it and they started walking again. This time Jaemin pressed his body against Jeno's side.

-

After weeks and several dates, Jeno couldn't help but laugh.

The heaviness that filled his back and shoulders slowly disappeared as he stared at the surprise on Jaemin's face. It's just the same.

But Jaemin didn't back down. He was firmly in place with the plastic groceries caught between his fingers. "What are you talking about, Jeno-ya?" he whispered hoarsely.

Jeno raised the corners of his lips. “You wanted to change how I dress, right? That's why you do this."

"I-no. Why would I do that? I – I just…”

"Giving me clothes because you sick of me wearing same clothes which is not even that good."

“No, Jeno-ya. I just want to give you a gift…"

“Why clothes, then? Isn't that a pretty clothes that you want me to wear so you don't feel ashamed when we go on a dates anymore? You can't stand my clothes anymore, right, Jaemin-ah?"

A wave of satisfaction filled Jeno's lungs. He tilted his chin even higher while Jaemin was still shaking in place.

“No, I don't! If you don't like it, you don't have to wear it. Really. I just think that we've been going around for awhile a–and I never gave you anything."

"Me too," Jeno interrupted. "Never gave you anything."

“Jeno, I don't want anything from you. I just want to give you something b–because…” _I like you._ Jaemin looked at Jeno in despair, hoping their telepathy would work out as well as usual, where sometimes they don't have to say everything out loud. But this time, Jeno's eyes were covered in a haze of joy that Jaemin didn't understand, making Jaemin's hair turn bright when he saw how much Jeno was enjoying this.

“Just admit it, Na Jaemin. I'm not qualified to be around you. Not with my ugly clothes and shoes. You just want a perfection because you're thinking you _are_ perfect. Pretty people like you are so predictable. We keep going on and you've been pretending that its okay to hang out with a people like me while in fact you just want to change me slowly so I could become more like you. More acceptable for your life. You know what, Na Jaemin, that's very manipulative. And sick. You are not perfect yet you think the world revolves around you. Its not and I won't accept your gift." Now Jeno is like standing in front of a mirror, looking at Jaemin as if he saw his own intentions. So clear, real, intense, as if he could embrace it right away. But Jeno held back.

He wanted to see Jaemin crushed. He wanted to see that perfection crumble.

"I'm sorry if I want you to like me as much as I like you. I'm sorry… if you really don't like me that much. I'm sorry for being so stupid all the time… gosh, its embarrassing how hard I try to impress you since I like you so much. I'm sorry for liking you. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"

And Jaemin did collapse. But not like what Jeno expected.

He just dropped the package in his hand and turned away with tears in his eyes, leaving Jeno still glued to his porch. His steps just galloped until they disappeared behind the fence. Before long, a car roared away.

-

"Well, fuck him. He's crazy, Jaemin-ah."

Jaemin wiped his tears, trying to focus on Donghyuck's voice. He apologized for calling his best friend when he needed a shoulder. But Jisung won't stay silent and at least Donghyuck is still in Canada, so he doesn't have to worry that the two closest people will look for Jeno.

This is the first time he and Donghyuck on the phone remembering that Donghyuck spent time visiting Mark's extended family in Canada. The time zone difference between them didn't help either. The two of them just exchanged greetings at different times. Jaemin tells about a boy he just met and Donghyuck always has a lot of stories to tell.

“I still don't know where did I go wrong…” sighed Jaemin, closing his eyes to avoid his heart breaking.

“You didn't do anything wrong, Na Jaemin. In fact, where the fuck did you find this kind of psycho? He's crazy, Nana. Can't wait to go home so I could team up with Jisung and fucking murder him."

Jaemin snorted at that. He curled up on the bed, trying to hold back tears as he said that name. “Jeno. Jeno Lee. He's such a sweetheart until today, Hyuck,” muttered Jaemin. “Thank you, by the way. For giving him my number. But yeah, I will be very honest and say that I'm not really thankful right now. I think he hates me."

Donghyuck didn't say anything for a while.

"Uhm... excuse me but who?"

“Jeno? Jeno Lee, Hyuck. You know, the sweet guy with very attractive eye-smile? Isn't he the sweetest?"

“Jaemin Na. You lost me. I didn't know any Jeno Lee until today, let alone gave him your number."

"What?" this time Jaemin sat on the bed, frowning. "B-but..."

"Hey, Mark," came Donghyuck's voice calling Mark. Jaemin could faintly hear Mark's muttering. “Do you know any Jeno Lee? Or do you remember if I, by any chance, gave Jaemin's number to someone? Anyone?"

Jaemin could hear Mark's answer. "No, babe. You stopped giving Jaemin's number to anyone since last year, remember?”

"Uh, correct," Donghyuck then returned to Jaemin. "Mark don't recall any Jeno Lee either, Jaemin, and you know you can believe him, right?" Mark and Donghyuck have known them since they entered kindergarten, so Jaemin knows Donghyuck doesn't forget Jeno Lee.

“Uhm… that's strange,” says Jaemin.

“Whatever. He hurts you. So, wait for me to come back and we'll hunt this Jeno Lee together."

After their conversation on the phone, Jaemin reopened his chat room with Jeno. When he managed to find their first message, Jaemin read Jeno's message carefully. He just realized that Jeno only said 'your friend'. Jaemin was the one who concluded that it was Donghyuck. But Jeno didn't correct Jaemin's words either.

Jaemin bit his lip. _So who?_ But remembering Jeno turning back the painful memory that happened in front of Jeno 's house and Jaemin deciding that there is no need to know who gave Jeno his number if he is now heartbroken.

-

Jeno stared at the closed school gate from a distance.

Jaemin goes to a famous private school in the city, in contrast to Jeno who studies at a government-owned school. From the outside, Jeno could see how different the school was from his own and realized that of course Jaemin was used to these kinds of beautiful things.

To be honest he didn't understand what he was doing in that place.

The last time he met Jaemin, a week ago, was when Jaemin suddenly visited his house and offered him a gift that was cruelly rejected by him. At first Jeno was satisfied when he realized that Jaemin wasn't perfect. He certainly wants to change Jeno to be more presentable. He must be tired of Jeno's bad clothes every time they date. Even though he didn't show it, Jaemin was certainly determined to make Jeno better in his eyes.

But when he heard Jaemin's choked voice and said sorry over and over, Jeno, who was filled with adrenaline, seemed to suddenly freeze to death. He thought Jaemin would be angry and blasphemed him. He thought he would skin Jaemin until Jaemin showed his true nature which was far from perfect. That Jaemin is none other than an ordinary human who certainly wants to look good in the eyes of others. Even in Jeno's eyes. That's the reason Jeno believes is the answer why Jaemin doesn't hesitate to get close to him.

_"I'm sorry if I want you to like me as much as I like you."_

_"I'm sorry... if you really don't like me that much."_

_"...how hard I try to impress you since I like you so much."_

_"I'm sorry for liking you. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"_

Jaemin likes him. Him. Jeno.

Jeno felt that his anxiety would not stop until he met Jaemin.

The gate opened before long and all the students burst out. Jeno straightened up. A few minutes later, he saw the person he was looking for. Jaemin stepped out, arm in arm with a reddish-haired man. If Jeno had not investigated Jaemin beforehand, he would not have known that this man was Donghyuck, Jaemin's best friend.

What made Jeno freeze was Jaemin's clothes. On the outside of his uniform, he was wearing a light blue hoodie that was familiar to Jeno's eyes. No, Jaemin never wore a hoodie when they were together. But Jeno is sure he has seen the same hoodie. He recalled and gasped when he realized that it was the same hoodie that Jaemin had given him. The difference is, Jaemin gave him a white hoodie. But from the design and size, Jeno is sure it's an identical hoodie.

The fact that Jaemin gave him a couple hoodie gift made Jeno's head foggy again. He forgot his surroundings and in a second, all he had was his obsession with Jaemin. Him and Jaemin.

Suddenly, he was in front of Jaemin. Jaemin gasped, shutting his mouth. But before Donghyuck had time to access this situation, Jaemin quickly grabbed Jeno's wrist and pulled him running away from Donghyuck.

"Wh–NA JAEMIN!" Donghyuck shouted. "YAH! COME BACK HERE YOU BRAT! NANA!"

But Jaemin didn't loosen his grip on Jeno's hand or his pace. They ran crazy for nearly five minutes until Jaemin lost his strength and stopped his steps.

"I'm sorry," he tried to say with a breathless breath, taking his hand off Jeno. “I just don't want him to kill you or something… since I told him a-about u-us. Uhm. I'm sorry about that. Can't help since he's my best friend. Ugh, yeah. So he doesn't like you, apparently. A-and when I saw you in front of me, I just grabbed your hand and run out of reflex… j-just because…”

"Jaemin," cut Jeno.

"S-sorry I'm rambling. Well. Why are you in front of my school? O-or you wanna meet someone else?"

"I want to meet you, Jaemin."

"Oh," Jeno saw relief from the look in Jaemin's eyes. "W-what is it then?" he looked at Jeno timidly.

"Sorry."

Jaemin's head looked up quickly, staring at Jeno's beady eyes.

"I want to apologize."

-

The next few days, they were in Jeno's room.

Jeno sat on the edge of the bed, Jaemin on his lap, kissing his lips hungrily. Jeno replied patiently. Jaemin's eyes closed while his hand rested on Jeno's shoulder. Jeno, for the first time, became so patient in kissing. He stroked Jaemin's waist to relieve the adrenaline in them and let Jaemin do whatever he wanted with Jeno's lips.

Not satisfied with kissing Jeno's lips, Jaemin pulled his face and landed his lips on Jeno's cheeks and forehead repeatedly.

"Jaemin."

Jaemin just hummed. Now both of his hands were holding Jeno's neck.

"Do you want to–"

"Yes."

"Do you know what–"

"Yes. Please, Jeno."

So Jeno landed a kiss on Jaemin's lips again. This time he didn't let Jaemin take over. On the contrary, his hand firmly gripped Jaemin's waist, making Jaemin give up even though he continued to respond to Jeno's tongue movement excitedly.

Jeno reversed their positions, laying Jaemin on the bed while he was hovering over him. As Jaemin grabbed his neck and cut the distance between them, Jeno couldn't help but think of the other bodies that were once beneath him.

Unlike Jaemin, the bodies lay lifeless.

"Jaemin." This fact made Jeno stare at Jaemin closely. He was silent for a moment because he had never before seen how lust overpowered someone down to the color of their eyes. Jeno never had the time to observe such things. However Jaemin emphasizing himself in Jeno's room. With his scent, his moan, the look in his eyes, even to his heart's voice that seemed like Jeno could read as clearly as the poster on the wall. Jaemin wants _it_.

"Jeno, Jeno," Jaemin raised his body while resting on his elbows, again landing a kiss. This time along Jeno's neck. It's a strange feeling for Jeno.

“Jeno, I–” Jaemin looked up, looking at Jeno with teary eyes. His hair stuck to his forehead due to sweat and Jeno could feel Jaemin's hot breath on his exposed skin. This was the first time they were so close and Jeno didn't know how to get Na Jaemin out of his life anymore.

So Jeno has no more reason to hold back or leave behind all the habits, details, and patterns that he strictly guarded. As soon as his eyes were closed when Jaemin's lips were crushed again, he had lost everything because he had everything. Na Jaemin is everything.

So the first thing he did after opening his eyes was to take off Jaemin's shirt and shirt, then squeeze Jaemin's body on the bed. Jaemin seemed to like this when he heard the sigh and his hand that caressed Jeno's back freely. Jeno moved back to removing his pants and Jaemin's pants, making their naked bodies touch from toe to head and Jaemin could feel the hair on his neck bristling.

 _Who are you_ , Jaemin wanted to scream, when Jeno landed his lips on his hard nipple while Jeno's hand prepared it all at once. He didn't even notice when Jeno smeared the lube on his finger as he shuddered at the chill it caused. Jeno is like a god and Jaemin is there to present anything to him. So all he could do was loosen his throat and focus on the friction of their cocks which made them even crazier.

The room that was damp and cold became hot and everything suddenly disappeared apart from Jeno and Jaemin, Jaemin and Jeno.

"Jaemin...?" Suddenly Jeno stopped all his movements and even though his three fingers were already inside Jaemin, Jaemin still frowned as if time stopped suddenly. He held Jeno's cheeks.

"Yes." With a steady nod, Jaemin assured. He just wanted Jeno.

Jeno took out his finger and replaced it with his hard-on. A few inches after passing Jaemin's rim, he's been groaning to let the hole try to recognize it. He bit his lip while pushing his cock back into Jaemin while Jaemin was still holding Jeno's cheeks, observing Jeno's expression which was so raw.

This was Jeno that Jaemin had wanted to see all this time. Jeno who wasn't cold or smirked. Jeno who didn't corner him because of trivial things. Jeno who didn't ignore it. He never cared about the things that Jeno was concerned about. He never cared where Jeno came from and how they actually got along with each other. Jeno is in his arms, and in it now. Jaemin doesn't want to care about anything.

“Fuck…” Jaemin was awakened by a soft shout from Jeno. Jeno looked at him closely. Just about to hug Jeno again, Jeno tilted his head and kissed Jaemin's palm. He let his breath land on Jaemin's hand as he started to move his hips.

" _Hngh!_ " Jaemin automatically grabbed Jeno's shoulder. His head lifted and his eyes closed.

"Tell me how you feel." He don't know what controlled his mouth, but Jeno immediately spoke without reducing the movement of his hips. The sound of skin clenching and the sweat that began to collect made everything so blurry. But Jeno's focus was perfectly directed.

Too perfect.

"G-good!" Jaemin squealed. His legs widened open, a sign that he had completely surrendered himself to Jeno and gave up to the pleasure that overwhelmed them.

Jeno shook his head, still looking at Jaemin with his dark eyes and Jaemin biting his lip before sighing again, “ _aaah!_ J-Jeno Jeno Jeno! Oh god, _Jeno_!”

“Tell. Me. How. You. Feel." Jeno emphasized each of his words along with every blow that was directed at Jaemin. When their skin met, Jeno could feel the tip of his cock pressing something inside Jaemin and making Jaemin scream again.

“Great! It's great, Jeno! So so good! You're so deep inside me a-and I can touch all of you." Jaemin paused to take a breath. "I want all of you, Jeno."

Jeno swallowed hard, pleasure has also taken over his mind. He landed his body on top of Jaemin's body, squeezed Jaemin's cute pink cock between them and Jaemin flinched again because of the pleasure caused by the friction.

However, a trace of madness lingered inside Jeno's head, reminding him of what he used to do when he was in the same position as everyone else. That madness made Jeno retain those memories, even when Jaemin could make him forget who he was and what he could do.

"No you don't." Jeno's jaw tightened, ignoring every sigh from Jaemin's mouth and focused on his fists that were clenched at the side of Jaemin's head. "You don't want a people like me." He spits out.

Jeno thought Jaemin was going to cry and asked them to stop. But Jaemin grabbed his shoulder and stared at him right at the beaded eye. Sweat from Jaemin's forehead slid to his temples and Jeno restrained himself from licking it. He could only look back at the hard expression on Jaemin's face.

“Stop saying that! Because I won't allow myself to think about that anymore. Jeno– _Jeno!_ ” Jaemin grabbed Jeno's nape. His gaze softened when Jeno didn't say anything. “I want you to allow me to think that I could love you. Please, Jeno. Please." With his low voice, Jaemin ended the wish and kissed Jeno on the lips.

He didn't give Jeno the opportunity to say anything or do anything other than keep his cock deep into him because Jaemin had already hugged Jeno's waist with his legs and gripped Jeno's nape tightly.

He bit Jeno's lip, making Jeno gasp and jump a little, but Jaemin put all his strength into keeping them in that position. He even moved to welcome Jeno's blows and in an instant, he could feel Jeno's power evaporating, alternating with the touch all over Jaemin's body.

"C-cumming!" Jaemin screamed softly at Jeno's lips before looking up and closing his eyes. His mouth opened as a white liquid leaked out of his cock while Jeno continued to move inside it. Without waiting, Jeno kissed Jaemin's neck because inside Jaemin, he was already emitting the same white liquid until his legs were shaking mercilessly.

Jeno didn't even notice that he was chanting Jaemin's name until he completely stopped moving.

Jeno's bed was barely recognizable and all they could do was take a breath to lighten the intensity. There was a sticky liquid between them and Jeno could feel how his back to thighs were sweating. But what was in Jeno's head was a real dullness when he realized that he was missing his momentum.

The momentum he had been waiting for months.

"Jeno, love?"

Jaemin's voice sounded close, so worried, and sounded like to be sure.

But nothing else needs to be ascertained. Jeno realized that his chance had just slipped out of his hands and he was too overwhelmed with affection for Jaemin to do it now.

So what he did was release himself from Jaemin.

"Go, Jaemin."

Jaemin who was still lying there with a gasping breath looked up and his mouth opened. He looked at Jeno in disbelief. "J-Jen?"

"Go!"

Jeno's harsh words made Jaemin gasp. He immediately sat down with a pale face. "Jeno, what's happen? D-did I do something wrong? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Jaemin's mind was confused as he received Jeno's harsh reaction.

"No, nothing happened." _And that's the fucking problem._ "I need you to leave now."

“But we just had sex! Its our first! I want to cuddle with you, sleep with you! I already told my brother that I'll be sleeping over in my friend house tonight."

"That's not my fucking problem."

Jaemin's jaw felt stiff, especially when Jeno sat beside the bed and turned his back on him.

"Are you serious?" Jaemin hopes that he can hit Jeno or do whatever makes Jeno understand how much he hates this kind of condition. But all he could release was a sad, hopeful voice of despair. "Jeno, are you okay?"

“Just go! I don't want to see you now."

 _After we had sex?_ Jaemin bit his lip, stretched out his hand that was about to touch Jeno's back. This is ridiculous. Jaemin imagined that Donghyuck and Jisung, who was suspicious of his departure that day, would be ready to chop up Jeno.

"You're unbelievable." Jaemin could only mutter words full of bitterness. He hurriedly wiped the cum that had melted on his stomach and thighs, no longer wanting to approach Jeno or be kind enough to ask what happened. He's too tired.

"I can't believe this." Jaemin bit his lip as he quickly put his clothes on. He focused on not forgetting his belongings rather than talking to Jeno who was still at the side of the bed. Jaemin's tears melted as he managed to stuff the clothes into his bag and clutched the bag over his shoulder. He put his foot into his shoe and got ready to leave the room when his steps suddenly caught. He turned around slowly, wanted to say a million curses until his whole heart was to Jeno who was still frozen and refused to look at him.

But at the last second, Jaemin realized that he had no right to say anything. Jeno never told him his feeling. He just let Jaemin around without affirming that he also has the same feelings. Heck, Jeno never even said anything about their relationship. Never promised not to hurt Jaemin like other people do. He's a fucking weirdo and armed with this understanding, Jaemin took a deep breath, then came out.

_I won't coming back._

-

Jeno didn't know since when he was so… wrong.

Maybe since he never saw his parents sleeping in the same room or even having dinner together. His mother would only leave cold food on the table, where little Jeno ate alone with his legs swinging in the air while staring at the empty space. His mother was happy to keep their house dark. On the other hand, this made Jeno's father almost always cursed whenever he came home because his leg hit the leg of the table.

“Aish, that woman! Why it is so dark in here!" his father said nervously, grabbing the switch and pressing it. He would be surprised to see Jeno sitting alone in the dining chair and without greeting Jeno, he muttered, "what did she gave this kid?" Then Jeno's father would go into his room and not come out until morning.

Jeno didn't know what happened when even his father hadn't been home for days. His mother grew fond of the dark, even locked herself in a completely dark bathroom for hours without eating. Whenever his mother went out to shop, everyone would frown at the pale and skinny woman. All her clothes ended up oversized and she was no longer dressed up. Jeno never asked.

He was never taught to ask questions because since he was little, he was only taught to accept. Just accept.

Jeno still doesn't know what happened other than that the food on the table was no longer as delicious as usual. There was a strange feeling that clotted on Jeno's tongue every time he tasted his mother's cooking and in no time, he was no different from his mother. His body was getting thinner and more and more children did not want to be near him. Jeno washed the clothes himself, so there was nothing neat about anything he was wearing considering that Jeno's hands were too small and he was still too weak to rub the clothes and rinse them properly.

Then one by one, the items in the house began to disappear. It started with non-essential things that Jeno didn't realize how important it was. Like a wardrobe and room deodorizer. Then the little cakes that his mother used to always prepare to receive guests. Then corned beef, sausage, eggs. Until leaving ramen in their cupboard. Jeno finished it all and his mother didn't bother refilling it all. In an instant, the two of them became neglected.

His mother was only willing to cook. Even then without saying a word. She let Jeno sit at the dining table, watching her process the ingredients. After putting everything on the table, she would return to his room, just disappeared.

Jeno began to hear how people pity his mother and berate his father. Several neighbors gathered in front of their house, murmuring about the last time they had seen Jeno's mother talk like a normal person and when was the last time Jeno bought new clothes. Jeno watched all of this from behind the window of his house, not understanding why his world and those people could be so different when only a mirror bordered them.

One day, Jeno decided to leave because he wondered if those people knew more about his parents than he did. But as soon as he opened the door and stepped out, the neighbors gasped at him and they ran screaming, "devil!"

Jeno could only turn around to look at his house and see from the glass, how the horns came out of his head.

-

"I think you should die, Mom."

13 years old Jeno said that to his mom.

His mother was stunned in the middle as she cut the fish and turned to look at Jeno. For the first time in years of living in silence.

"What are you saying, Jeno?"

"I heard them," Jeno said lightly, sitting at the dining table with his back bent. As usual. He didn't do anything. He didn't have the money to buy something to keep himself busy. “They said you have no will to live since dad gone. No will to live means die."

"So," Jeno mother started. "The only people deserves to live is the perfect ones, right?"

Jeno was silent, staring at his mother cluelessly. Maybe he should have got angry with his mother. But he wasn't.

"The people like your father," continued Mrs. Lee. "And his family."

Jeno was stunned in his place. He thought, his father was dead. Like reading Jeno's mind, his mother smiled. “Yes, Jeno. Your father have a family now. A beautiful little girl too. They said he have a perfect family. A perfect life. Tell me, Jeno. What that's makes us?"

_A loser._

The next day, Jeno found his mother in the bathroom. No longer breathing under the pile of blankets in the bathtub.

-

Its an ecstasy. The feeling of possessing something in the blink of an eye to then witnessing life being sucked from it. After all, that power was never attractive if given it just like that. Strength and freedom should be taken, embraced, taken away. No one can provide it.

Jeno had forgotten the boy's name but when his neck seemed to constrict under his large palm, Jeno smiled. Sweat flooded Jeno's temples and the boy was crying; begging, asking for help or whatever to stay alive. But Jeno was still bigger, stronger, more mature. Jeno could feel the soft tube that he was grinding as best he could in the boy's throat. He ignored the darkness around them and let the boy's hand reach in vain, whatever he could reach.

Jeno's cheekbones were claw marks, as were his upper arms. But he was firmly in place. Unlike the boy beneath him, his energy was full and was now multiplying.

"You shouldn't follow me." Jeno grinned. He saw that the boy's eyes were almost out and his lips were turning blue. "You shouldn't trust the pretty face."

When all the struggle for survival was over, Jeno sat on top of the still warm corpse, naked and sipping a cigarette. "You just another perfection that I want to ruin."

-

So Jeno didn't understand, as his feet led him to Na Jaemin's house, the one who brought him to orgasm and was still alive.

He did not understand how the momentum to seize perfection had slipped from his hands and he was carried away with emotion. Something he never realized so far.

 _I thought it was gone. I thought I die already._ Jeno put his hand in his pants pocket. He don't know how the plans he had drawn up so far could have ended so unexpectedly.

His forehead creased and his eyebrows knit together. Within him, a thousand questions arose. _Who are you, Na Jaemin?_ What did Na Jaemin have that made him want to live longer? What does Na Jaemin have that makes him ignore death and ignore the only purpose in life that he has? What makes Na Jaemin different from all the perfection he has ever seen (and snatched away)?

And for whatever sake, being with Jaemin is beyond all the energy he has gotten so far.

From the lids of his eyes, he could see Jaemin's house at the end of the road. A home that is more than luxurious and beautiful. The house is very much depicting the warm family atmosphere in it. Jaemin's parents love Jaemin and Jisung more than anything. They still go out on dates together and spend weekends with their kids. This made Jaemin and Jisung grow up to be lovely young men.

The two of them love each other and are popular students in their school. Although Jisung is a little shy, Jaemin's personality fits his younger brother's brother, making Jisung in some ways very dependent on his older brother. Even so, Jaemin didn't mind at all. At school, both of them are diligent and clever students.

Really, nothing was different from Jaemin from the previous people. Despite his extraordinary beauty, Jaemin seemed like another perfect person to Jeno's eyes.

Then why is it precisely with all that, Jaemin is still perfect in front of Jeno?

Jaemin is still the same Jaemin no matter how badly Jeno treats him. Jaemin gives him gifts, keeps promises, and spends time with Jeno as long as he wants. Jaemin who wanted to be beside Jeno. Jaemin who, with his presence, made Jeno's lonely world become so serene.

Jeno doesn't understand.

That was the only reason he got as to why he had to meet Jaemin tonight. A week after their last meeting in Jeno's bed, the place for his absolute surrender to Jaemin. A sad week, even for Jeno's sad life.

Getting closer to Jaemin's house, Jeno finds a sedan he doesn't recognize. He had observed Jaemin's life for weeks before sending a message to Jaemin, and this car parked in Jaemin's yard never entered his radar, even after he was close to Jaemin.

He slowed his steps when he realized that nothing was different from the atmosphere of Jaemin's house. He suspected it was a relative or guest of Jaemin's parents when the door opened.

"…go away!"

“…Come on, Jaemin! Don't push me. Lets talk, baby. I miss you. Come on."

Jaemin seemed to be pushing a boy out of his house. The man tried to stay firmly in place but Jaemin, with a flushed face, didn't seem to want to listen to anything anymore.

“Fuck off, Yoon! You don't come to my house when my parent is away just to do this shit to me!"

The man called Yoon laughed. "Oh, can't I? But Jisung loves me, though. He told me everything. About your new boyfriend. I heard he's a fucking weirdo. Come on, Na. You just lower your standard like that? I'm here, baby."

Jeno was silent, observing the incident from the front of Jaemin's house, beyond the eyes of the two hostile people. He was not in the slightest provoked by what the other boy said.

“Shut up! You know nothing! Now fuck off! I don't want to be with you anymore!" Jaemin pushed the boy one last time before turning back in.

But the man's hand swiftly grabbed Jaemin's shoulder. When Jaemin brushed him off harshly, there was two seconds of silence before the man lunged forward and entered with Jaemin. Jeno quickly approached.

"…DO NOT TOUCH ME! I'll scream, I swear to God, Yoon Se Hyung. No! Don't! JISUNG, GO!"

“Really, Nana? You tell me to piss off when that freak could fuck you whenever he want? Tell me, Nana. Is he satisfied you? Is he that big for your little hole? Oh, trust me, baby, he won't fill you like me. Just prepare yourself because I'll fuck you to next year if you want. _Yes_ , tell Jisung to go. Of course he doesn't want to see his beautiful brother get bang in the kitchen. Come on, be a good boy and suck my dick."

Jeno grinned and a second later, he broke the door and lunged at the man who was grabbing Jaemin's arm.

"WHAT?!" Yoon Se Hyung didn't had time to see Jeno's presence, he hit the refrigerator, making scattered sounds emerge from the refrigerator. Jaemin shrieked, only keeping his mouth shut as the two men fought in his kitchen, destroying practically everything.

"Nana!" heard Jisung's approaching call.

“JI! NO! Go back upstairs!” Jaemin screamed hysterically, about to run to block his younger brother. But Yoon Se Hyung took the opportunity to grab Jaemin's waist.

"Oh, is that you, you freaking bastard?" He strengthened his grip on Jaemin's stomach, making Jaemin a shield that made Jeno dare not came closer. He looked at Jeno with hatred.

"Nana? Are you okay?" Jisung's voice sounded scared because there were no more fights.

“Sungie, no…” Jaemin sobbed.

"Jisung?" Jeno opened his mouth for the first time. Behind Se Hyung, Jisung's eyes peeked over the wall. Se Hyung's eyes were still staring at Jeno while Jaemin closed his eyes with trembling lips, looking shaken.

“It will pass soon. Please wait in your room, okay? Don't open it unless its your brother."

Jisung looked at Jeno doubtfully, but nodded when Jaemin didn't sound in denial. The sound of his footsteps rose and before long the door slammed shut. Next came the sound of a key being placed and when he was sure Jisung was in his room, Jeno straightened up while stretching his arms.

"Now, how would you like to do this?"

"Weirdo," Se Hyung shook his head, viciously. He immediately brought his face closer to Jaemin's ear. “Nana, baby… tell him to go when I'm still being nice, hm? And I won't say a thing about what happened here."

But Jaemin shook his head. A second later, he shrieked as Se Hyung's grip on his stomach strengthened.

"W-we're over, S-Se Hyung... L-Let me go..."

Se Hyung grinned. “You gave yourself just like that to a bastard like him but now you won't even suck my dick? You don't know what you missed, baby." He looked up to look back at Jeno's manic eyes. "Eh. How was he in bed? He must be such a pliant whore who like being told and choked. Don't be greedy and let me feel it once, yeah? Then he's yours."

Se Hyung had not had time to close his mouth, Jeno was already moving forward, bumping his face so that he dragged Jaemin, collapsed and hit the bookshelf.

Jaemin squealed in pain and Se Hyung growled. But Jeno was faster, he pulled Jaemin out of Se Hyung's grip before landing his foot on the man's stomach.

“Argh! Son of a bitch!" Se Hyung swiftly grabbed Jeno's leg and twisted it. Jeno collapsed and hit the floor. Without waiting, Se Hyung got up and sat on Jeno's stomach. He hit Jeno's face many times.

"You think I'm easy, you bastard? I know how to teach a bastard like you so you could behave," he gasped, but didn't stop. "Why do you think Jaemin stay with me for more than two years, hm?"

Se Hyung didn't lie. He knows what he's doing. With the soles of his feet, he kept Jeno's thighs in place. He rested on his knees while his burly arms easily became a match for Jeno's arm trying to protect himself.

But Jeno is also not an easy opponent. Even though his energy was running low and it was clear Se Hyung was in an advantageous position, he lifted his face and spat so hard that it landed right on Se Hyung's face.

"YOU BASTARD–"

Jeno was already prepared to take Se Hyung's strongest punch and took the momentum to turn things around, but what happened next was the sound of broken glass and Se Hyung's eyes opening wide.

Behind him stood Jaemin breathlessly. He just slammed a vase on Se Hyung's head.

Se Hyung immediately lost his balance, staggering to his feet. However Jaemin did not remain silent.

"Asshole," growled Jaemin. He lunged at Se Hyung until both of them fell to the floor. Se Hyung's back landed first with a loud bang. “I hate you, I fucking hate you, I hate you, I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you! Just FUCKING ROT IN HELL!" Jaemin screamed crazy.

Jeno immediately got up, grabbed Jaemin's body and dragged him away from Se Hyung. Unexpectedly, Se Hyung no longer responds. There wasn't even any movement from his body anymore.

 _He can't move again_ , Jeno thought as his eyes landed on the gaping wound on Se Hyung's chest and his head that was covered in blood. Jaemin gasped beside him, blood splattered across his face and knife in hand.

-

Jeno could see the reflection of his face in Jaemin's eyes. Those eyes were black as dark as a lake and Jaemin didn't move even as Jeno moved his body to the bottom of the stairs. His grip on the blade did not loosen one bit.

“Jaemin,” called Jeno. But Jaemin still didn't move. It seemed like he didn't hear Jeno's call.

"Jaemin," Jeno touched Jaemin's cheek. "Nana? Baby?"

“I won't regret it,” Jaemin swallowed, still staring blankly somewhere. "He deserved it."

The sick, deep, dark orbs inside Jeno said, _he sure did_. But he chose not to say that. “You need to go back upstairs to your brother. Your neighbor will call the police if they don't see you outside. You need to be… prepared."

"What about him?" Jaemin didn't even squeal at the corpse lying in the kitchen. For the first time, Jeno saw Jaemin's usually cheerful expression evaporate just like that.

"I'll take care of it. You just need to take care of your brother–"

"No." Jaemin finally looked at Jeno. Jeno could see fresh blood striking against Jaemin's pale skin. "I can't." He shook his head. And before Jeno could reply, Jaemin continued, “you go upstairs. Tell my brother to call the police."

"What?! They will arrest you, Nana!”

"Just do it."

"Nana–"

"They won't." Jaemin's eyes filled with pleas. "Trust me. Do what I say. NOW!"

Stuttered by Jaemin's suddenly intimidating aura, Jeno ran upstairs. He saw the only closed door and knocked on it. "Jisung? Its me, Jeno."

"Jeno?" came a low voice from inside. “W-what about my brother? A-and that..."

“I know I said to you to not open the door if its not your brother, but I need you to call the police. Can you do it, Jisung?"

“T-the police? Yeah, yeah! I'll do it." There was a brief pause before a click sounded and the door swung open. Jisung looked at Jeno worriedly, the cell phone stuck to his ear. "I trust you."

"Thank you, Jisung." Jeno was at least grateful that it wasn't Jaemin who met Jisung or that the child must have fainted when he saw his brother's body covered in blood.

"Where is my–"

Jeno pushed Jisung's body softly until the two of them entered the room. "He needs time alone." _He must be cleaning himself up._

Jisung had not yet had time to answer, his phone seemed to be picked up. In an instant, he was talking to an officer. The police will be here in five minutes.

There was a knock at the door. “Jeno, would you give me a favor and stay with Jisung here until the police came? Please?" The door was only slightly pushed, without revealing Jaemin.

"Nana!" Jisung was about to jump but Jaemin swiftly closed the door and locked it from the outside.

"Jaemin?" Jeno joined in the call.

“Ji, please be a good boy and stay with Jeno there, okay? I will be here. I'm fine. V-very fine. You'll see me once the police come."

Jisung could only cry, not realizing that Jeno heard something different from Jaemin's voice. He knew Jaemin wasn't lying. Jaemin is indeed very _very_ fine now.

-

As soon as there was a knock and call from the front door, the three of them stiffened in their place. Jaemin then went down the stairs and sat on the bottom step. Two policemen entered and were stunned by the conditions in the kitchen. They quickly brandished their weapons when they saw Jaemin, but when they saw Jaemin's condition, they rushed to call for help. An officer knelt in front of Jaemin.

“I don't-I don't know what was happened oh god… he just came a-and yelled at me… please help me. Is he-is he okay? Oh god-my brother… and m-my boyfriend… are upstairs. Help, please help." Jaemin sobbed.

Another policeman rushed upstairs and opened a closed room. He found Jisung who was crying in Jeno's arms. As soon as the door opened, Jisung immediately ran down.

"Nana!" he hugged Jaemin.

"Ji... are you okay?" Jaemin whispered.

"Oh God, Nana! Are you hurt ?! What did he do? N-Nana…”

“Baby, don't worry. The police are here. We're fine... b-but I'm af-afraid he's not..."

Thirty minutes later, Jaemin's house was surrounded by police cars and ambulances. Neighbors walked out, yellow lines were posted, and Jaemin's parents received calls.

At the back of the ambulance sat Jaemin and Jeno. Jisung was outside, giving statements to the police while waiting for their parents. Jaemin's body was wrapped in a blanket after paramedics examined him, while Jeno lay in front of him.

"We'll proceed to the hospital. The parents could see them there." There were paramedics outside talking to officers.

Jaemin and Jeno looked at each other. Nobody opened their mouths or moved. The two of them just stayed where they were.

 _Trust me._ Jaemin's eyes flashed as he blinked.

 _I'm sorry._ Jeno's eyes dropped.

But still no one spoke. When Jeno looked into Jaemin's eyes and tried to understand the meaning implied in them, Jeno felt like he was in a mirror. He remembers the same eyes that stared at him as he removed the bodies of his victims.

 _I know now_. Jaemin smiled wryly. Beautiful, flawless.

They were startled by Jisung who landed his body next to Jaemin, immediately hugged his brother. A paramedic enters and the door is closed from the outside.

Before long, the car's sirens rang and they drove away.

-

Like other popular kids, news about Jaemin and Jisung spread quickly.

In an instant, everyone knows about Jaemin's ex-lover, Yoon Se Hyung, who died in the kitchen of the Na family's residence. All reasons and motives were then clarified (at the same time confirmed) by a press release by the police.

“…Yoon Se Hyung came to the Na's household after making sure that the parents are gone. We extract the data from Na Jisung cellphone and got the information about how Yoon Se Hyung manipulate the younger brother into giving updates about Na Jaemin. When arrived there, Yoon Se Hyung started to insulting the brothers because Na Jaemin rejected his advance to go back together. Lee Jeno, Na Jaemin's boyfriend, arrived at the right time when Yoon Se Hyung was trying to rape his ex-boyfriend and intervened. They got into fight but because he afraid about his brother wellbeing, Na Jaemin asked Lee Jeno to go upstairs while he tried to convince Yoon Se Hyung to leave. But Yoon Se Hyung got aggravated and started to hit Na Jaemin. Na Jaemin was trying to escape and call the neighbor, but Yoon Se Hyung stabbed his back. So, in the matter of protection himself, his brother, and his boyfriend, and much to his defense, Na Jaemin took the knife and stabbed him back. Yoon Se Hyung died in the crime scene. Here, the autopsy report…"

Then hundreds of flowers landed on the Na family's front yard. Everyone was talking about the heroic deeds that Jaemin took. Jaemin even immediately gave a statement when he was hospitalized while begging for his brother and boyfriend to be treated and calmed first. Jaemin's parents are devastated by this incident. They refuse the Yoon family's offer of negotiation.

“Mum, Dad. I'm sorry that I have to introduce my boyfriend in the hospital but he is my hero." Jaemin introduced Jeno to his parents.

"Lee Jeno, Ma'am, sir. Thank you for–”

“Don't say such thing, Jeno. Its nothing. We should be the one who say thank you to you for saving our sons. Thank you so much." Mrs. Na hugged Jeno tightly. Her eyes were wet again imagining the night full of horror that her two children had to go through. Her babies.

"You are good boy, Jeno," Mr. Na patted Jeno's head warmly. His eyes were shining with gratitude.

Mrs. Na let go of her hug and grabbed Jeno's arm. “You are so skinny, Jeno. Is the food here unfavorable? Tell me what do you wanna eat, hm?"

"No, Ma'am. Its okay. I just… shocked, I guess."

"We understand, Jeno," Mr. Na interceded, knowing his wife could be a little too much. “So, Jaemin here told us about you. You lived alone, huh?"

Jeno nodded.

Mr. Na and Mrs. Na looked at each other before smiling softly. "Would you like to live with us?"

Jeno's eyes widened slightly. He looked at Jaemin who also looked surprised. "O-oh? Are you-are you sure? I don't wanna intrude... its okay, ma'am, sir."

“No, Jeno. It would be our pleasure. And Nana here would love that very much. Right, Nana?"

Jaemin nodded quickly.

"Is that so?" muttered Jeno.

Mrs. Na nodded cheerfully. “Beside, I doubt that you could do long distance. And Nana wouldn't want to leave you either."

Those words made Jeno's ears stand upright. _Long distance?_

"Yeah. We would like to take care of you, Jeno. We already searched about the best school in Amsterdam. You'll love it there. Jisung is already packing now."

This time Jeno's mouth opened. "A... Amsterdam?"

"Yes!" replied Mr. Na is optimistic. "You don't like it?"

"Uh, no, sir, ma'am. I mean… I would like to go there b-but is it too much to bring me with you…”

"Jeno," sighed Mrs. Na, go back to hugging Jeno. “I feel like dying to see Jaemin, Jisung, and you here in the hospital. I couldn't forgive myself for leaving Jaemin and Jisung that night. I want them to be safe… So we want to start a new life far far away. And please, you are not a burden. My heart got crushed when I heard about you taking care of yourself alone. Like my husband and sons said, you are a good boy. A nice man. We can't leave you here. Please come with us."

-

Jeno finds himself in the most absurd moment in his life, when he is already sitting in the back seat of the Na family car. Next to him, sat Jaemin, then Jisung. Behind them, the large truck lifting all the Na family furniture for sale was ready to go. At the gate of the Na family's house, stood Donghyuck, Mark, and Chenle with wet eyes. The three of them also got the side effects of what happened, whether it was stopped anywhere by strangers to clarify the truth of the news that was circulating so that it was a little paranoid with the surrounding environment.

Donghyuck will follow Mark who returns to Canada to live in peace, while Chenle will return to Shanghai indefinitely. He and Jisung cried for days, but when Mr. and Mrs. Zhong assured that they would visit as often as possible, both of them comforting a little. Mr. Na forbids them from dropping off at the airport because he wants a quiet away, away from all the hustle and bustle and people's curiosity.

The Na family's home will be left for a while before being dismantled and sold. However, Jaemin and Jisung didn't seem sad about this.

As Jeno looked around, he saw people lined up around the car, carrying flowers and waving. It was all people who had awe and sympathy for them, especially Jaemin. They wanted to say goodbye one last time before the family closed the tragic sheet of their beautiful life that was ruined overnight.

"Bye, Hyuck, Mark," whispered Jaemin while trying to wave to his two best friends. Jisung waved to Chenle.

Jeno stayed in place, not waving at anyone.

"Are you ready, kids?" Mr. Na greeted them, seemingly trying to be cheerful and strong.

Jaemin nodded and the car roared away slowly.

Jeno turned around when he felt Jaemin's warm hand on top of his. Without a word, he linked their hands. He looked into Jaemin's eyes.

Since that night, the look in Jaemin's eyes has not changed.

_end_

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing this kind of fic since I've been wanting it for so long so I don't know how it turns out to be 😵  
> Thank you for reading this! 💗


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